this is my life.. all abt me..and darling

2005-02-23T06:36:00.001-08:00

hahahhahaha.. so happie!!!!! he's comin tml!!!!!!!! muahahahahahah..

2005-02-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

hahahhahaha.. so happie!!!!! he's comin tml!!!!!!!! muahahahahahah..

2004-12-24T10:04:00.000-08:00

ho.. ho.. ho.. merry christmas!!

we wish u a merry christmas..
we wish u a merry christmas..
we wish u a merry christmas..
and a happy new yr..

pHeW~ jus came back frm church.. so so so tired.. went to my aunt's church.. saw so many peeps there..

tired~ go slp..

2004-12-17T18:35:00.000-08:00

until now.. i still cant make myself to accept the fact dat ms ho is nt wid us anymore.. i know dat's live.. but why why why????!!?? why take away such a good person frm us?/ why.. i jus cant understand why.. the beautiful memories she had kept in my heart.. the story abt how she
actually studied for her chi had encouraged me to put in much effort into my chi too.. cuz she made me believe dat, only if u put in the effort den u'll succeed.. argh.. why.. still why.. it was their honeymoon.. somehow in my heart i jus wished dat i cld actually go up to them and wake them up frm their dreams.. but i know i cant.. ms ho.. u'll always live in my heart.. forever.. ur smile ur laughter.. and everything else.. u've made a difference in me.. i wan to thank u.. but i think it's too late.. i miss u..

liyang.. i miSs u.. it's only for three days.. i'm alone for three days.. but it felt rather like a wk.. why why why.. cuz there's something missin in my life? so many things had happened when u were gone.. haiz i really dunno wad to do. when i stay at home.. when i'm alone.. i dun wan to stay at home.. cuz each time i'm alone i would jus burst into tears any moment.. cuz u are so far away from me.. and i'm scared dat 1 dae i would hear something frm u which i do nt want to hear..

i'm bored.. no one to talk to me .. to play wid me.. to lame wid me.. to quarrel wid me.. to eat wid me.. to lend me a listening ear when i'm down.. to stop me frm cryin.. to play golf wid me.. to eat sushi wid me.. to watch movie wid me.. to go shoppin wid me.. to go science center wid me.. to go bird park wid me.. to take neo prints wid me.. to go bbq wid me..on one!!! nt anymore!!

the hatest place to me is the airport.. do u know how difficult was it for me to hold back my tears? for me to actually walk out of the airport like nth has happened? for me to think dat time would pass so fast dat u'll be with me again 1 dae.. but do u know how many yrs u have to leave me here? how many yrs we cant talk to each other?cant hear ur voice. cant go out wid u... haiz.. jus hoped dat wad u've romised me will nt be broken.. i jus have to believe..

liyang.. take care.. i'll always remember all those things u've said.. and i trust u.. i miss u..

2004-12-11T05:39:00.000-08:00

i miss the both of u.. only if i culd, i wld want to be lyk how the three of us used to be.. sometimes i dun dare to look into ur eyes.. cuz i think we've drifted to far apart.. i jus cant find a way to be part of u guys again..

can i still look for u guys.. haiz.. i dunno wad to say.. when i saw u guys.. i jus tot of those moments we had.. but now dat i noe, it's too late to regret.. he's leaving.. and i really need u guys.. but it's all too late now.. cuz i felt so guilty.. u guys are nt my "spare tyre".. nt the type where i go and find u only i needed u.. i really do treasure u guys.. cuz i still treat both of u as my best frenz.. although i noe u do nt.. but it's ok.. cuz i shud be blamed..

wad can i do? i jus do nt know.. to be able to communicate wid u guys again.. to go cRaZy wid u guys again.. to gO Out Wid u Guys again.. and so many more.. but i dont think there's tis chance.. i jus wanna say sry..

argh~ i cant stand it any longer.. the more i read.. the more i hate u.. maybe i dun hate u.. cuz i'm nt like u.. and i really dunno wad on earth are u tryin to say..u jus dunno the exact thing dat had happened.. if i'm nt wrong, ur prob had started durin last yr's dec lo.. and i still do nt know anything yet lo.. and we only gt to know each other tis yr apr.. arnd there.. it's nt related in anyway lo.. and u jus simly said it so many times.. without giving a tot abt it.. i tot we were frenz.. but it seems like we are nt anymore.. i jus can believe dat u've gt such a black-heart to say those things.. and to me.. i think u are jus trying to attract ppl's attention.. maybe i'm nt even a fren to u.. but u noe wad? i do nt care.. i regret wad i've done last time.. tryin o be nice to u.. hopin dat u'll 1 dae forgive me.. i think i'm really stupid.. u really noe how to act in front of others man..

2004-10-18T03:53:00.000-07:00

haiz.. y?y?y? why muz u hate a person til tis state? until lidat? hmmm.. maybe is jus bcuz of me? i think so.. u always give me dat kind of very weird feelin whenever i walk past u.. i noe no matter how many sorries u'll nv forgive me.. and i oso cant do anything..

sob.. ss.. i'm still at sec 3.. argh.. how am i goin to finish studyin ss?
ms noor said we shd be doin other's school's paper le.. and shouldnt be studyin.. but i only studied 2 chap for prelim???

ss is killin me!!

hmmm..

all the best ppl..
all the best for ur comin o lvl..

2004-09-04T03:35:00.000-07:00

I am a Leo.
(Also known as "Lion")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" From the early age, Leos are inclined towards drunkennes and extortion. When it comes to anything else, they show a remarkable degree of laziness. As a child, a Leo will typically demand a lot of money from parents, then from friends and even casual aquaintances. " (Read more | Find yours)

2004-08-12T06:43:00.000-07:00
phew~ so many things are goin on these few daes..
hmph.. so tired.. hmmm.. at first got chem prac test..
but almost all my ans is diff frm my frenz..
haiz.. think i'll nt do well this time..
den got back chi result today..
though i noe my chi very lousy..
but every1 sure hope to get good grades rite?
haiz..
but.. i dun think i have tried my best..
or is tt my best already?
or are my expectations too high?
when i noe i cant make it??
sob.. sob..
sigh~
haiz.. retake or not to??
i really do nt noe..
thinkin tt retakein is jus a waste of time..
hmmm.. but parents dun seems to be satisfied wid my result..
neither do i..

den later went for eng OrAL~
it's rather ok la..
but i screw up..
was jus too nervous..
tt i practically forget everything tt i've prepared..
haiz..
wat done cannot be undone..
so.. gotta work harder now.

haiz.. gotta worry for my maths too..
goosh.. it's gettin worse.. sobx.. how.. really muz brush up.. but wat am i doin here??
hmmm..
think muz wake up my ideas.. and start now!!

2004-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00
heh heh.. woke up so early today.. but still very tired leh.. heh heh.. hmmm.. still wanna slp.. argh.. havent finish phy hw.. sob.. dun feel like doin.. tml havin school le.. so fast!! sob.. muz study.. muz study le.. cannot play le! exactly 1 mth left to our prelim papers?

2004-08-09T08:53:00.000-07:00
happy bd to myself.. haha.. so lame.. nth to do.. jus before 12.. 1 yr older le.. heh heh.. happy bd to myself.. happy bd to myself.. happy bd to myself.. happy bd to myself.. heh heh..

2004-08-09T06:42:00.000-07:00
muahahaha.. i'm 16 le.. heez.. yestersday was so fun.. heeS.. went out wid li-yang, yang kuan and daniel.. suppose to go out wid pq oso... but couldnt contact her.. and after my tuition,she already went to meet cockhead le.. went to amk mrt station to meet them.. didnt noe where to go.. marine bay or esplanade there.. took the train to marina bay le.. but dunno y we decided to go city hall later.. but they say is i wanna go de.. so jus be it.. cuz maybe i forget le.. by then, it's already 8.30 le.. we got there jus on the dot.. phEw~ after the fireworks, it was so crowded at the mrt station.. den the three of them didnt wanna take.. hmmm... i was hUnGrY~ heh heh.. so we went to marina square to get our food.. it was stupid.. bought Mac.. and guess wat?? no sauce, no straw, no cup le.. good business sia.. den went to the esplanade there again.. sat by the river side.. and have our dinner.. so nice.. heez..by the time we finish eatin, it's 11.30 le.. and 30 more mins is moi bd le.. liyang and i didnt wanna move.. the wind is so coolin.. so comfortable.. but we've gort no choice..

huray!! it's 12 and he sang me a bd song.. so loud.. heh heh.. den later we finally decided to get up and walk towards yk and dan.. heh heh.. so late le. but i wasnt tired.. yk was so lame.. he went to sing the song.."count on me aw jia ying.." stupid rite.. but it's ok.. muz thankz them for for waitin there patiently for ly and me.. heeS.. cuz it was too late le.. and there's no more bus services le.. so we gotta take a cab home.. reached hime at 1 plus.. muz cross the overhead bridge myself.. so poor thing eh~ haha.. scared to take lift myself.. so went to call my mum.. ask her to come down and wait for me.. heez.. so shy.. she said.." see la.. now u are scared.." finally.. my bed.. my everything.. i'm tired.. so exhausted.. went here went there.. hehe.. was very dirty last mite. didnt bathe.. and i went to slp immediately.. after i brushed my teeth..

heh heh..and... pQ and sX surprised mE early in the morning!! heeS.. really tot they goin out wid their HiMs* haha..jus came back frm lunch wid my cousin and family.. really got a shocked when i wanna ask my bro to open the door for me.. den suddenly saw the gals.. haha.. they gave me a red t shirt for my bd.. heh heh.. crazeh gals.. but it wasnt the "real" gift.. heh heh.. hmmm.. it was a 37 degree shirt and a roxy pencil case.. so nice.. and.. not forgettin the almond jelly specially made by pq.. and the cake bought by them too.. heeS.. thnx.. heh heh.. frenz forever ya.. heeS.. hmmm.. think ly wanna come along wid them too.. but when they went and knocked at his door, no1 went to open the door for them.. haha.. den i oso tot he was still slpin.. hmmm.. he waited for 4 hrs.. nt wastin too much time, we went to meet Ly... went out for lunch at pastamania.. so full sia.. gettin fatter.. haha.. den Ly bought a tiramisu cake for me.. but the four of us couldnt finish it.. cuz it was too BIG for the four of us to finish.. but after tat, we couldnt decide where to go.. pq wanna go play pool.. sx wanna go fly kite.. den ly and i both oso can.. how to choose lidat??

hmmm.. den later, pq and sx say they were tired.. den wanna go home.. so i went out wid hiM~ heez.. we decided to go fly kite.. heh heh.. fun. but the journey was FAR~ make us so sleepy.. so tired sia.. hmmm..

the kite flew in the sky..
up high above..
freedom..
but my heart was so heavy..
exams is around the corner le..
and i'm still left wid lots of things to study..
bro jus gort his outbreak of chicken pox..
and i'm very scared i'll be affected.. haiz..
and gosh~
i'm havin o's oral on thurs..
no!!
noPoX!!
hmmm..
but the kite will fall anytime..
haiz..

but i'm nt suppose to be sad.. i promised u i'll try my best to achieve good results.. am i'll keeep my promise.. love u alwayS.. heez.. *muackz..* hmmm.. got a necklace and a bottle of starS~ made by him.. heh heh.. though the side was broken, but i'll still keep it.. thnx for the presents too.. i like it.. heez.. hmmm... den after dat we went home... cuz my mum was hurryin me le.. tot my bro was havin chicken pox so they will not be celebratin for me le.. but who noes.. the are already sittin at hime waitin for me le.. heh heh.. muahaha.. oh.. and yk.. the tiger.. heh heh.. so nice to touch.. heez..but is ly help yk to buy de,.. heh heh.. thnx.. thnx everybody..

2004-08-02T06:43:00.000-07:00
gort a secret to tell.. heez.. 1 more wk.. heh heh.. den it's my birthdae le.. heh heh.. den pq and sux cannot bully me le.. haiz.. which means i'll be 16 le.. so old.. sob.. hmmm.. todae gort bio practical leh.. dunno whether can pass tis time.. hmmm.. but i've tried my best to draw neat lines.. not sketchy le.. heh heh.. finally.. yea.. these few daes i'm so hardworkin eh~.. but i only managed to start my revision on my amaths.. sob.. gonna get started wid phy and chem le.. hmmm.. jiaying can make it de.. yea.. jiaying rox the world.. li-yang rox big time too.. heez.. hmmm.. borin.. oh ya!! eng oral is comin too.. scared.. haiz.. read read read!!!

sob sob.. pq and sux goin out wid their aHem~ on my birthdae.. so sad.. but nvm.. heh heh.. he's enuf le.. heh heh.. muackz*

hmmm.. think i shud get started wid my revision le.. heh heh.. so guai eh~

2004-07-31T05:45:00.000-07:00
phew~ finally can use the com without any1 scoldin me le.. muahahaha.. bro went to hostle to stay le.. heh heh.. hmmm.. tired.. yesterdae was peiqi's birthdae eh~ finially she's 16 le.. opps.. so old.. haha.. she can play pool le.. and legally watch NC16 show.. they bully me yesterdae.. but luckily i gort ly wid me.. heh heh.. hmmm.. but he left to meet his frenz at 5.15.. me and sux wanna give pq a surprise.. heh heh.. and for the whole dae, pq really tot sx will nt turn up.. cuz sx was havin tuition.. think she's rather sad.. ya?? but........ haha.. at 1st we gort nthin to do le.. Ps is borin.. no where to go.. den cockhead(weng hong) and pq wanna watch movie.. so i jus fake it say ok.. and try to delay their time.. the plan was actually.. wait for sux to appear.. and give her a BIG surprise! eh~ den went ly gtg le den i went to tell them his gonna go out to wait for his fren.. haha.. she was navie.. heh heh.. kiddin.. walked rnd and rnd.. den finally sx reached.. i secretly went to meet her.. tellin them i wanna go toilet.. met sx.. and went to buy pq's bd cake.. but we couldnt find any nice 1S.. so decided to buy ice cream instead.. it was very successful.. heh heh.. she really gort a shock wid the presents and stuffs.. haha.. but later, we gort a hard time eatin.. dA iCe-CrEaM~.. it's meltin at a extreme fast rate.. but the four of us couldnt finish everything.. my job was to feed them.. so xing ku.. den she dun let cockhead eat.. cuz he gort wat?? i forget.. think cough, sore troat, and dunno wat else la.. haiyoz.. heh heh.. so lovin eh~ haha.. hmmm..in the end we didnt catch any show.. cuz it was too late le.. den later, we decided to go ly's hse to take back our bks.. argh.. stupid skool.. stupid teachers.. stupid ideas.. make us carry all our bks home.. argh.. so stupid eh~ reached le.. den everyone's hungry le.. so ask ly to ask the maid to cook for us.. haha.. the yk and sx thingy was so funny.. but at tat time every1 was very exhuasted le.. so very thing became very borin to every1.. sat down and watch vcd.. den it was time for us to go home le.. though i was tired.. but had lots of fun wid them.. yea.. frenz forever..

and today, went for chem practical mock test.. things arent goin well.. everytime i get the correct ans den i went to change it.. den wrong.. the feelin is really very............ haiz. jus dunno how to express.. but think tis time rnd is nt as bad as the phy practical.. but i managed to pass my phy.. heh heh.. tot i was goin to fail my heat experiment.. phew~ hmmm.. durin phy lesson, i was feelin very moody.. haiz.. haiz.. he was feelin quite sick at tat time le.. but i was still angry wid him.. haiz.. wack me upside down.. really miss him.. didnt wanted him to leave.. but i dunno wat to say.. speechless at tat moment.. after he left.. i wasnt payin attention at all.. but hav to put on the smile and everything.. jus like nth has happened.. he jus left lidat.. i really didnt know wat to do.. miss him.. lUrVe U..

hmmm shall end here.. shud be studyin le..

2004-07-26T06:18:00.000-07:00
hmmm.. upload the racial harmony pictures le.. heh heh.. hmmm.. finally.. bro nt at home le.. heh heh.. can use com.. heh heh.. hmmm.. but so many tests comin up.. haiz.. the phy practical.. i think i fail the experiment on heat le.. sob sob.. hmm.. think it's time for me to start studyin maths, phy and chi le.. heh heh.. last cheena test.. hope i dun hav to retake le.. hmmm.. will come and update again..

2004-07-03T04:33:00.000-07:00
hmmm.. had chinese listenin compre today.. was sick.. so i was feelin very tired in the mornin.. like those feelings u always have when u are sick.. so i couldnt concentrate at all.. my eyes were abt to close when they are readin the third passage.. haiz.. y is my chi gettin frm bad to worse.. cuz i didnt work hard for it.. and my mama is expectin so much frm me.. dunno how to do a lot of qns.. and there's only 10 qns!

hmmm.. den after dat.. went to catch spiderman 2 wid my class.. only abt 13 turned up i guess.. nt too sure.. den went to take neoprints wid them.. was feelin moody.. guess there's jus sum stuff botherin me.. hmmm.. later me, ly and daniel went to eat lunch at cine.. wanted to go bowlin.. but there's some events goin on.. den jus walk and walk.. and found myself already walkin towards the bus stop.. guess i jus cant take it ani more..

was slpin jus now.. wasn't a peaceful slp afterall.. mama ask me to do tis do dat.. haiz.. later still wanna brin me go orchard.. aGaIn~ but.. do i have a choice? hmmm.. guess i gtg now..

2004-07-02T05:48:00.000-07:00
couldnt find the time to actually blog.. cuz of my bro again.. amd now he's not at home.. so jus tot of comin here to crap some stuff.. but think there's nth to crap..

was havin MT oral.. think i did quite badly.. cuz i was too nervous.. and the passage was rather easy but i jus couldnt calm myself down.. so afraid i'll fail tt section.. haiz.. but i know i had done my best.. wanna thank li-yang n yang kuan too.. hmmm.. they were helpin me for the past few days.. like abt 1 entire wk.. heh heh..

left abt 7 more wks to prelim? think so.. but i'm still playin.. still foolin arnd.. haiz.. think it's time for me to wake up.. and i shall start revision soon.. i dun wanna get those sucky results again le..

i tot u would nv tok to me again..
but i was wrong..
somethings.. i really feel like takin the big step..
to go foward to say sorry..
but i'm scared..
everytime i see u..
i jus think i shud move away..
to somewhere..
to a place where u cant see me..
cuz i'm afraid i'll make u sad again..
and maybe keepin quiet is better..
cuz i scared i'll say the wrong stuffs..
scared.. scared..
and when will the feelin ever disappear..

2004-06-04T08:37:00.000-07:00
so tired.. heh heh.. rather bored these few daes.. gotta stay at home.. be a guai gal.. heh heh.. but today i went out.. heh heh.. went to meet sUx.. and jan.. dey went joggin.. haha.. couldnt believe it.. Oops.. heh heh.. kiddin.. hmmm.. den had our lunch.. den went to buy sum materials to make our handmade pencil case.. heh heh.. den sUx bought an extra set to make fer her.. aHeM~.. k la.. dun make fun of her le.. den went to walk arnd aMk.. later went off fer my piano lesson.. heh heh.. she give me so much hw.. haiz.. 20 pages of THEORY~ can die.. dun care.. anyway i always never do.. haiz.. but there's 1 sad thing.. haiz.. she say i comfirm cannot take my grade 6 practical next yr.. cuz i cant take my grade 5 theory tis yr.. got o lvl how to take in nOv?? haiz.. sob'.. heh heh.. den went out to catch harry potter.. heh heh.. so many ppl saw me at the mrt but i didnt see any of them..

2004-06-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-05-22T02:37:00.000-07:00
went out wid cousin again.. she came over to my hse and stay.. disturb me onli.. and she comin over next wed to sat.. arrghh~ how to study??? everytime she jus reminds me of wat she has done last time.. but i'll be the nice one and ferget those stuff.. but todae she did sumthing again.. and she's my cousin.. so i did nothin.. and i jus kept quiet.. haiz..

feelin so tired now.. was went to amk library.. to study wid her.. so guai sia.. study leh~ muahahaha.. dun pl-ray pl-ray.. hahax.. hmmm.. slept at 3 plus last nite.. cuz she ask me to tok to her.. tokin crap again.. aniway i oso cant slp.. was very awake.. dunno y.. thinkin of sum stuff.. den papa woke me up at 7.30.. he ask me to go fer a mornin jog wid him.. and so the good gal went wid him.. but was too lazy to even jog.. so eventually.. it became a mornin stroll at macRitichie.. and was tokin to my papa.. he's still as lame as ever.. aPq.. remember tt time.. my bro fetch u to da bus stop near my hse there? har har.. den my papa.. xiao mei mei ni yi ke ren ke yi ma? har har.. xiao mei mei..?? den he everytime ask me if there's skool.. like duh~

like left wid 9 more daes only.. but i'm still left wid so much stuff.. how to finish? arrghh~ try my bez ba.. hungry~ heh heh.. gonna have dinner now.. -(",)-

2004-05-21T02:47:00.000-07:00
was stayin at hime the whole dae.. bein a good gal.. readin story bk.. but after i read finish was only abt 1245.. and i was starin.. at my cellin..?? crazy me.. wanted to start my revision fer chinese.. but.. end up readin story bk.. haiyo.. den went fer piano lesson.. got scolded fer not practisin sia.. haiz.. but i did.. when i practise my bro will scold me fer disturbin him.. cuz he wanna watch tv.. den i wait.. after tt my parents wanna watch the news.. so i wait again.. later all of them oso wanna watch sum stupid show frm 7-10.. so i cant practise at all.. cuz when i start playin after 10.. my neighbour will bang the damn door.. and u noe wat does tt mean rite.. cant stand them.. everytime bang bang.. hope their door will spoil sooner or later.. so i shall play every nite after 10.. hahax.. kiddin la.. hmmm.. at 10 i'm afraid i'll disturb others.. den i always use the mute padel.. but it'll spoil my piano.. so i stop again.. and the thing is my teacher scold me fer not practising.. i dunno why but i wont be attracted by those tv programme.. am i weird? but i'm jus born lidat.. i cant remember those tv actresses and actor.. and wat the name of the show.. even if i watched tt show be4.. i cant remember it.. why huh? i dun study.. dun like to watch tv prog.. dunno wat i do everydae oso..

another borin dae fer me.. haiz.. tot i was goin out.. nah.. haiz.. wanted to ask pq whether i can go over to her house and play.. den later cousin msg me.. she wanna come over.. arrghh~ destroy my plan straight away.. haiz.. and she wants me to teach her geo.. geo? and guess wat? my geo sucks.. i always fail geo.. and the only time i pass was last yr's end of yr exam.. dun bother to tok abt tis yr.. cuz ms noor told us all the qns already.. so.... u noe rite? she's jus harmin us.. preparin us fer internal exam.. but not external..

and now my bro jus went out.. and my cousin is out there knockin on the door le.. gonna get goin.. fly........ and wait... all the best fer the comin o lvl ya..

2004-05-20T03:07:00.000-07:00
yEapS.. back home.. haha.. went out wid sUx todae.. oops.. suxian la.. went to her hse and she's still in her winnie the pooh pajamas.. so childish.. hmmm.. was desigin her shirt.. looks pretty cool.. cuz i was there to help her.. heh heh.. kiddin la.. it was her own design eh~ den went to get her specs.. frameless one.. suits her.. cuz the specs totally blend in wid her skin.. oops.. didn't mean anything.. ok.. enuf of tt.. told her the story on 50 1st dates.. den she still she she wanna buy the vcd.. so she can watch it everydae.. and can make her laugh every single dae.. so lame.. sounds familar eh~ jus lyk tt gal who suffered frm short term memory..haha.. hmmm.. went to get a shirt fer myself.. wanted to get the back to our usually plan.. den jus bought some stuff.. the wingS.. har har.. hmmm.. by den the apple pie at the mac was waitin fer me le.. sUx.. i noe where's the mac le.. remember the main entrance there.. beside the sumsung shop.. there lo.. haha.. den in the end.. went to kfc.. haha.. went to order together den sUx's fries was not ready yet.. den when we wan to go and collect they gave us two instead of 1.. haha... but we are hao xin ren.. so of cuz went to tell the lady lo.. hmm.. den went back to orchard again.. was stuck.. dun laugh.. noe we very stupid.. but managed to find our way out.. den sUx meet her tt RI guy at 3.45 lo.. den ps me.. sob~ hmmm.. went to meet my mama.. haha.. to calm my money.. heez.. poor gal.. kiddin.. den she ask me to accompany her go dentist.. den go home.. and i'm home.. down here.. chinese o lvl is jus the the next next monday.. scared~ but i'm still enjoyin.. tot tml can study.. but i wanna go out.. but jus remember tt i got piano lesson in the afternoon.. haiz.. piano exam is comin too.. dunno whether i can pass.. hope so ba.. jus 1 more mth fer me to prac everything.. still cant master a single thing.. so.... wat can i expect.. felt very dishearted by everything tt's goin on.. but i'm not goin to stop learnin piano despite of tt..white oP shirt.. but when i went to fit it on.. guess wat? can see thru de.. so shy.. suxian saw everything.. haha.. no la.. dunno.. but tt's wat she say.. hmm.. so decided to get another colour.. haha.. purple.. yEaPs~ finally got another shirt.. not white anymore.. haha.. think my wardrobe is filled wid lotsa white shirts.. har har.. den went to plaza sing.. tot of gettin some art stuff.. to make our shirt and pencil case.. den wanted to get lotsa things.. but i was broke.. cuz mama not wid me.. haha.. went frm one corner to the other.. decidin of wat to get.. the things were so expenSiVe.. cuz we can find cheaper ones frm amk.. walked arnd and managed to find sumthin we wanted.. the winGs.. haha.. my wings can fly.. heh heh.. hmmm.. den saw sum cloth.. three diff designs.. niCe~ quite cheap.. but add up will become like $12 fer those cloth.. and we dun need such a long cloth.. but we like the material.. so dunno which 1 to get.. so we play scissor-paper-stone.. haha.. dun laugh hor.. cant decide ma.. den no choice.. gotta be childish.. but whenever i play wid her.. i always win de.. dunno why oso.. think we always come out the same thing.. so lame.. as usual i win.. but still cant decide.. cuz like all oso like.. den suddenly she hold on to two of them.. den hit here hit there.. den all the flurry flurry thingy flew out.. all landed on Me!.. we were laughin like crazy in the middle of no where.. cuz of sUx lo.. make me laugh until stomach pa-in.. kept disturbin me.. actually we planned of disturbin pq todae.. but she dun wanna come out wid us.. so sad.. haha.. shhh.. dun tell her.. haha.. k dun lame le.. hmm.. nd guess which one we bought in the end? nOnE.. har har.. lame rite? spend so much time choosin.. but we didn't wanted any cuz tot of another design.. not really design la.. jus tot of makin trousers to make the pencil case.. go i want to prove my bro wrong.. and i'm not gonna waste my parents' money..

tired leh.. have a break have a kit kat.. hungry sia.. gotta stop here.. papa wants me to eat dinner wid him le.. i so guai de.. haha.. bored~ i still wanna go shoppin.. see if i can pull my mama along later.. den.... muahahahaha..

2004-05-19T08:01:00.000-07:00
call urself sumone whom care fer others? think abt it.. hmmm.. think every1 has got guilty consicous ya? so if it's u u'll definitely noe it's u.. and if it's not u u'll have tt kinda "safe" feelin.. ya now? think i'm jus tokin crap.. haha...

yEapS.. wat now? heh heh.. exams is over le.. oops.. shld i say mid yr is over le.. heh heh.. 4 daes to rest manz.. shuang.. haha.. hmm.. but muz start on my cheenaz ler.. haiyo.. so poor thing~ haha..

todae's amaths still can la.. not say very difficult.. or am i already immune to mrs wong's paper.. haha.. her paper is always lidat de.. it's nv easy.. was sittin beside jin yuan.. jy.. haha.. jy sittin beside another jy.. crazeh me.. hmmm.. stressed by him la.. do until so damn fast.. until i muz try to do even faster to catch up wid his speed.. was doin at a high speed.. haha.. lame.. crack my brain sia.. but i only managed to finish it on the dot manz.. think if he nv do tt fast i wont be able to finish the paper le.. haha.. thnx manz.. but i didn't managed to check.. sob sob.. but nvm.. cuz i FinIsHed~ haha.. and guess wat? i pAssEd my PhYsIcS.. huRay~ yEaPs.. claps'

hmmm.. gonna watch movie later.. todae mama at home.. haha.. mama at home=got food to eat.. haha.. so evil.. hmmm.. going to eat my breakfast-lunch le.. heh heh.. tired.. and todae.... finally can slack a bit le.. wat am i suppose to do now? ferget.. oh.. go eat.. heh heh.. the food is waitin.. waitin fer me to eat.. and why the food is waiting? cuz my stomach is hungry.. hmmm.. am i jus remembered sumthing manz.. haha.. it's abt my dream.. it's sho weird lorx.. last nite dreamt of three continuous weird dreamt.. and i didn't wake up i the middle of those dreams.. dunno how it link frm one to another oso.. it's totally different.. wanted to tell peiqi and suxian todae.. but i fergot.. hungry.. gotta get goin.. the food bu nai fan le.. haha..

2004-05-18T00:59:00.000-07:00
jus came back.. jus realised tt i didn't noe how to do the differentiation of trigo.. scary sia.. heh heh.. later den learn ba.. hmmm.. tml is the last paper.. shld i be happy abt it? nah.. nth to be happy abt.. jus gettin into more trouble each day.. havin a heavy heart.. nOw!! think i wont be able to pass all my sciences.. be4 my physics paper 2.. jasline came to tell me my physics paper 1 mks.. and guess how much i got? jus 24/40.. aren't i gonna be dead? and i cant do a single thing frm paper 2.. worse.. gettin worse each dae.. cant do tis cant do tt.. and wat else can i do.. knowin tt i'm gettin back those results.. and i can nv imagine wat's goin to happen next.. how? if by cryin out it'll change everything.. i'll definitely cry.. but.. naH~ it cant.. obviously..

hmmm.. now gonna work really hard for my amaths tml.. cuz it's the last paper le.. less than 1 dae to go.. jia you~

kaez.. shouldnt spend much time on tis.. and it's already 4.10.. gonna get crackin.. heh heh.. take care ppl.. and chi o is comin on it's way.. heh heh.. scared~ study smart wor~

2004-05-17T07:43:00.000-07:00
amaths.. amaths.. wat's the use of learnin amaths? i see no pt.. haiz.. abt 20 marks gone.. cuz they didn't give me graph paper.. den when i ask fer graph paper.. they couldn't find any.. and i have to wait for abt 5 mins be4 i could do tt qn... and by the time it was 3 mins b4 the paper ends.. draw a exponential graph within 3 mins?arrghhh~ fed up wid the teachers la... and tt alone cost me 12 mrks.. was checkin ans wid the rest of them.. but it seems like i got none correct.. am i goin to fail my amaths now? seems to be doin bad fer everything.. jus think i'm stupid.. and u noe wat happened todae? mr teh mr noor and mr chan are standin rite in front of my table again.. directly.. rite in the centre.. wid a pose.. tokin!!!! wTf... teachers are not considerate at all... wat the hell manz.. when we are noisy in class while they are doin their work.. they will say they cant work wid noise.. den wat? can i? durin an exam? i cant finish bcuz of the disturbance.. are u gonna give me extra time? nAH~ neVER~ and they jus tok like no1's business.. and u now how loud ms noor and mr chan speaks? and the deep low voice of mr teh is more irritatin.. cuz havin a low voice makes him sound even louder.. irritatin teachers.. disturb.. disturb.. wTH!!! i got enuf.. and u noe wat i think i'm gonna sit infront again.. for tml and wed.. clap clap.. they can tok more infront of my face le..

hmmm... still got phy tml.. started my revision.. but was pracyically flippin the entire bk.. jus can imagine wat kinda results i'm gonna have..

feelin rather sad.. hmmm.. maybe shld jus keep it to myself ba.. if they are happy den i'll be happy.. but it may not be the truth.. cuz every1 has got feelings..

k i think i shall stop here.. cuz i still have a whole chunk of work to do.. i dun wan to do badly again.. not any other paper.. jus hope fer the bez ba.. but it seems sho difficult to study now.. knowin tt i wont do well.. cuz i'm really not motivated anymore.. and i'm damn discouraged by all those papers..

2004-05-16T06:02:00.000-07:00
feelin rather tired.. pissed off too.. was studyin amaths.. and doin the paper mrs wong gave my class few wks ago.. but i kept gettin the wrong ans.. each time i didn't get the rite ans.. i felt very discouraged.. hmm.. after the exams i think i'm gonna get lots of scoldings manz.. not only frm my parents i tink.. my relatives oso.. everytime ask abt my results de.. cuz my cousins all very smart.. and i stupid or wat? but each time i tried my best.. the results i got back is still like shit.. or are their expectations too high for me? told my parents i cant do the chem test.. but they jus kept quiet.. why cant they spare a tot for me? dun they get the hint? i'm gonna fail chem.. told my papa i cant do 1 of the qn in emaths paper 2.. the one on the pot qn.. and u noe wat he told me? "u nv study practise enuf of cuz cant do la" they are nv satisfied wid my results.. not once.. and now.. i dun have the heart to study fer my other subjects le.. haiz.. nth is keepin motivated at all.. wid the stupid results i'm gonna get.. and those kinda scoldings i'm gettin frm all those adults.. the torture i'm goin to get durin june holi.. no 1 can teach me.. i'm alone to teach myself.. cuz i cant ask any1 at all.. no1 in my family.. all the qns i asked my bro.. they dunno how to do.. cuz they've forgotten everything.. but how am i able to learn w/o any1 teachin me? i wanted tuition.. but all my relatives said i shld study on my own.. to save TIMe!!!! ya ya.. study study.. solve every prob on my own.. if i'm tt smart den why am i not in the gifted programme? I'M NOT! and i felt so lousy everytime..

hmm..forget abt everything.. i jus dun wanna noe.. maybe i'm immune to all those scoldings.. cuz i got it every yr.. or maybe twice every yr.. and maybe i'm gettin more tis yr..

spent my fri and sat playin.. and even today i was playin.. only studied fer like abt 3 hr? ya.. arrghh~ they sumthin more troubling me.. and tt thingy really sux.. and i was so pissed off~

wat shld i do?
wat u wan me to do?
i really dunno wat to do anymore..
felt so useless..
sittin here doin nth..
but thinkin abt the prob..
and i jus cant find a solution fer tt..
but y muz it end up lidat?
i dun lyk it..
dun think u'll ever lidat it either..
thinkin abt every stuff..
jus makes me more pissed off each time..
jus wanderin..
when will tis stupid prob tt's makin me so pissed off end..

hmmm.. i hate sec 4 life.. there's only troubles and touubles each day.. or was i the one lookin fer those troubles? memories hauntin me now? again? jus thinkin of havin fun now.. wat's out there fer me to do? when can i ever say i'm enjoyin life? nah~ not now.. not anytime.. maybe in future when i'm old ba.. jus noe it's not anytime tt i'm been thru.. haiz.. i'm not workin towards my goals either.. cuz i dun even noe wat's my goals.. heh heh.. so lame.. hmmm.. cuz i'm stupid.. and i'm luffin at myself.. and y am i luffin? cuz i'm stupid? and y and i stupid? cuz i'm not born smart.. and y.. arrghh~ think i'm gettin a little crazeh now.. heh heh.. bit borin though.. hmm.. gettin late.. think i'm jus goin to read thru all those formula again and tt's all fer my dae today..

kaez.. gotta go.. u guys take care ya.. -(",)-

2004-05-15T23:23:00.000-07:00
after so long.. finally managed to change my blogskin le.. hmmm.. noe sum1 is waitin for me to thnx her manz.. haha.. it's suxian.. thnx anyway. hmm.. mid yr sux manz.. havin no confiendence in myself animore.. jus have a feelin tt i'll do damn badly for tis time rnd.. yesterday was havin chem.. it was sho difficult.. maybe to me it was really a tough paper.. jus hope tt i'll pass.. hate tt fail word.. but it kept appearin in my mind.. scared~

is it sho difficult for teachers to shut their mouth? or muz their mouth speaks every single minute.. every sec.. was havin the exam and mr teh and mr ee was standin rite infront of my table.. and u noe wat were they doin? speakin loudly while we were havin loudly.. nothin to do wid the exams.. they were tokin abt PerSoNAL sTUffs.. for like more than 15 mins.. arrghh~ couldn't concentrate at all.. was sho fed up wid them.. everytime teachers tok in the hall.. it's not their fault.. no one wil ever scold them.. but when we tok outside the hall after our exams.. wat else do we get? jus scoldings and scoldings frm them.. runnin in and out jus to keep us quiet.. but do they give a tot to those tt are havin their exams? nah.. hmmm... forget it.. teachers are lidat.. like principal like teachers.. esp Peirce teAChers.. "carin" teachers ma..

hmm.. still got three more daes to sUffER.. sianz.. and my physics bk is still left untouched.. jus there collectin dust.. wanted to study yesterdae but was too lazy to do so after i got home.. hmm..

to think life is wonderful wid all sorts of rubbish goin on.. hate it~

"she" called me again..
reminds me of wat had happened..
reminds me of the past..
everything..
but why is it comin back to me again?
maybe it’s a baD thing to think abt it..
jus makes me sUffer again..

hmmm.. gotta get goin le.. startin to hate chem.. haiz.. I dunno why in the 1st place i chose triple science.. wished I didn’t listen to my bro and chose dnt instead.. regrettin but jus cant do anything at tis pt of time.. hmm.. gotts ren to the end.. all the best to every1 fer ya exams though it’s endin in a few more daes.. –(",)-

2004-04-22T00:53:00.000-07:00
heeyloos.. nv been bloggin for a long time.. so many problems seems to be troubling everyone.. one after another.. but there's nothin we can do..

hmmm.. jus came back frm school.. feelin very tired.. very pissed off by some stuff.. not doin well for anythin.. todae had two tests.. i think i'm gonna fail my cheena test.. it's like i dun even have the mood to read the passage.. sho damn long.. and i went to attempt the qns b4 i even read finish.. haiz.. dun got back our eng oral result.. didn't do well too.. sob~ wat's more was i practically forget everything abt my chem.. i spent two daes to study.. but in the end, i still dunno how to do so many qns.. felt so useless.. why cant i jus concentrate? i dunno wat am i thinkin abt.. but there seems so many things for me to think.. am i jus too lazy to do anything? how much time am i left wid b4 the mid yr exams? i really dunno..

left wid three more band prac.. jus hope tt they dun tell us we are involve in the speech day.. and now they are paintin the skool again.. i think they've painted arnd 5 times? since i stepped into tis skool.. jus a waste of every1's money.. paint and paint.. sian lorx.. dun they have other important things to do.. renovate the library.. paint the skool staircase.. but all these are done to make the skool look good.. and tts it.. it'lyk wtf.. and todae pica chew was tellin us to keep the skool clean.. isn't our skool bee-u-tee-full enuf? wid multi-colour on the wall.. i dun understand lo.. wat can we benefit frm those painting?

pissed off.. pissed off by my results.. pissed off by everything.. and the weather is so hot whish makes me even more pissed off.. wat can i do? but i jus feel so useless each time.. will there ever be once when my life is wonderful? when i dun have to think of anything.. nothing seems to be on the rite track..

k la.. gotta stop here.. jus too tired to rite.. and oso not in the mood.. hmmm.. byezz..

2004-03-27T00:08:00.000-08:00
harlo.. heh heh.. jus finished tat chinese perlim oral.. haiz.. didn't do wel la.. was sho nervous.. sCaReD~ didn't tot of those questions oso.. jus hope tt i pass lo.. hmmm.. didn't blog fer the past few daes le.. but nothin much happened oso.. was rather sad la.. cuz i didn't do well fer those recent test..

everyone seems so tired..
so many things to do..
but i jus don't feel like doin anything..
although all those problems are solved...
no more troubles.....
but i'm still not in the mood to do anything....
how am i able to catch up wid my class...??
feelin sho lousy....
how am i able to do well in my studies...
results are gettin frm bad to worse....

haiz.....
loads of tests next wk....
physics..
chinese..
maths..
cant really remember le...
arrghhhh~
will my life be full of regrets??
there's nothin i can do but to focus...
and to force myself to study.....

hmmm... gotta go le... want to go cut hairr.. haiz.. jus not in the mood to study.. not in the mood to study.. take care ppl..

2004-03-24T04:14:00.000-08:00
heh heh.. hmm.. sho tired liao.. my legs very tired.. went fer himp jump jus now at yio chu kang stadium.. oOps.. wrong.. is long jump.. *cOnFuSeD*~ not many turned up fer the long jump la.. like only 8 ppl went fer the jump.. hmmm.. suxian indeed came in first again.. happy fer her.. tink she's happy oso.. peiqi still say wanna treat her ice-cream if she got 1st.. haha.. it's a sure thingy ma.. oso happy fer myself la.. didn't expect to get 2nd.. like never jump fer 4-5 years le.. hmmm.. peiqi was oso jumpin quite well.. at least she did her best le.. jus tat she's tired ba..

things btwn me and her are much better liao.. hMmM.. today was chatin wid her liao.. feelin much betta.. not havin tat uneasy~ feelin anymore.. heh heh.. now tat feelin fer him is like fadin away liao.. not totally.. but sometimes the feelin is not there le..

hmmmm.....
cant be thinkin of him all the time....
but sometimes it's not wat i can control..
rather.. it's way beyond my capacity....
but to keep thinkin of him is jus not the solution..
maybe keepin myself busy is one of the ways...
to keep my mind focus on other things...
which are more important than him....
but he will always be kept in my heart...
jus a fren wont i care fer..

and............
fer now......
studies is my top priority...
and to get into the Jc i WaNt!!!....
but i've got tis playful character..
heh heh.. cant control myself oso..
but feelin more relax now....
almost all the troubles are gone...
happy~

tml still got geo test leh.. not good in geo one.. always fail one.. since sec 1 liao.. test term can do well b'cuz she tell us the qNs b4 hand liao.. haiz.. heard it's only mCq.. haha.. happy~ but still muz spend some time readin thru the text.. fri still got bio test sia.. chapt 4-12 leh.. haiz..

hmmm... gotta go study le.. or i'll feel lousy again.. jus not very satisfied wid my results la.. nowaday didn't do well fer all the tests.. haiz... gotta *WaKE Up* take care ppl.. tata.. -(",)-

2004-03-22T04:09:00.000-08:00
heeyloos.. jus came home frm skool.. went for band.. was pretty mad over some stuff la.. dun wan to mention le la.. not a good thing oso.. things still haven change.. we are still like "enemies"...haiz.. feeling quite sad.. jus now, on my way home, saw someone.. graduate liao.. but she was there to remind me of him.. sometimes i really envy her.. she seems to be able to get along well wid him.. but wat abt me? sometimes dun even get a reply frm him..

to get to noe you is one thing..
but when i get to noe you better,...
things start to change..
really change a lot..
not like you can imagine..
it jus can't be expressed thru words..
feelings grew deeper each and everydae..
so deep...... tat i've never expected it to be..
thinkin back at those times we've spent together..
really miss them....
wish to have them back again..
but i think it'll never happened..
to me,......
everything is jus like an illusion..
wat i'm hopin fer.... wat i wish fer....
will never turn out rite..
jus as though i'm dreamin..
when will i wake up frm tis dream??
soon??......
how much time do i need??
i jus wanna ferget everything..
to throw away all those memories..
to stop thinkin of you...
when will i be able to do tat??
aRrGgHhHh~

haiz.. i jus couldn't stop thinkin of everything.. to think abt all those stuff and to cry over them are "useless".. jus findin another problem fer myself.. i'm really very foolish.. very silly.. simply stupid.. childish??? i've done sho much.. but he jus simply dun appreciate them.. i really had enuf of them.. makes me feel as though i've no life at all.. life is jus so meaninless to me.. tired of my llife.. tired of everything.. haiz...

hmmm.. tml still got cheena test.. my cheena gettin frm bad to worse le.. gotta work harder sia.. luckily tml's cheena only test us on sec 2 'A' bk.. pHeW~ gotta get goin le.. still haven bathe yet.. feelin sho uncomfortable.. heh heh.. gotta go study fer cheena oso.. kae la.. shall stop here.. still got loads of hw waitin fer me to complete.. tata.. (^_^)/

2004-03-21T01:25:00.000-08:00
hmm.. today actually goin out wid peiqi and suxian.. but later gotta go out.. sho decided to stay at home.. dun like to rush here rush there.. last dae of skool holidae le.. dunno whether to be sad or happy.. but jus feelin very sian.. things still didn't change.. jus now went to buy lunch fer my brother.. met into her.. totally different feelin.. things have changed.. haiz.. tot of writin a letter to her.. don't think she will come here oso..

cant really remember wat did i do yesterdae.. short term memory sia~ dunno why nv blog leh.. oh ya.. yaeterdae for cIp in the mornin.. so damn early lo.. woke up at arnd 6.30.. tired.. but have to force myself to wake up.. went to sell flag wid prila,huili,wansu and xinru.. decided to go harbourfront.. quite lame rite.. but wasnt tat far frm toa payoh la.. we end up eatin at the mac and not doin our cip.. saw lotsa ppl carryin the same donation bag oso.. like no1 wants to donate fer us.. so decided o change venue aGaiN.. went to novena.. saw so mamy ppl wid the stickers le.. oso sian 1/2.. go up oso got a lot of dem le.. go down to the other side oso lotsa ppl.. wasn't fun at all la.. sort of enjoyin ourselves.. heh heh.. tat liyang's grp atill ask us to go watch movie sia.. returned our bags at arnd 1240.. went to have my lunch wid prila,wansu,huili and darryl.. found out tat bio test changed to fri.. har har.. sho happi manz.. so prila ,wansu and Me wanted to take neoprints at far east.. and went there only a guy came up to us and ask us a qn.. wanted to run away but there are another two gals on roller blades.. you noe the guy givin out the lvl 1 card.. ya.. so lame lo.. they ask us qn den tell us the ans one.. stupid.. like sho many ppl havn the card lo..

went home and was waitin fer his call.. wanted to pass him his birthdae present but he wasn't free.. sho gotta wait ba.. maybe todae.. dunno la.. really hope tat he will like it lo.. sCaReD~
hope tt things will change fer the better..
hope tat he will tok to me more..
but everything may jus be a dream..
sob~

everyone take care k.. tml muz go back skool liao.. o lvl MT comin liao.. seems very far frm now but yet it's near.. haiz.. dunno wat am i tokin abt oso.. but jus hope tt everyone will do well.. new term ahead.. gotta get goin le.. still not in the mood to study.. how?? hmm.. wOrRiEd~ kae la.. see ya tml.. -(",)-

2004-03-19T05:46:00.000-08:00
heeyloos ppl.. hmm.. was bakin cake jus now.. heh heh.. chocolate cake.. last nitez went out wid peiqi.. to orchard.. she wanted to play pool den i oso anything.. but when we got there, the table was already bein used by some other ppl.. den no choice.. we wanted to go to heeren.. den realised it was rainin cats and dogs.. heh heh.. lizards and crocodiles.. flowers and leaves.. lame.. luckily i got an brought umbrella.. den the kind soul like me shared it wid peiqi.. so good rite.. heh heh.. den she accompany me to buy his present.. finally managed to buy his present le.. i really dun noe if he will like it.. but really hoped tt he will la.. now really broke liao.. but nvm la.. not in need of money oso.. went to walk round and round.. lots of nice things we thought of buyin.. but short of cash.. heh heh.. dun think we will ever afford it oso.. really very ex.. it's temptin us.. den she dun feel like goin home.. so ask her to come my hse stay.. nice to have her stayin at my hse.. always pour out our feelings to one another.. last nite we didn't eat our dinner last nite.. went to look for mohd daniel.. we walked round and round his estate tryin to find his hse.. but couldn't find at all.. in the end, when we decided to jog home tt time.. den managed to find his hse.. so stupid lo.. went to the park there.. den the three of us jus sat at the top of a "pyramid" and tok crap again.. at around 10 lidat he walked us.. haha.. peiqi fell down.. was tryin to climb some sort of wall lidat.. den she fell off.. comin down oso fall.. haiyo.. dunno how she climb oso lo..

reached home liao.. den i decided to bake butter cake.. mama say bake half and test test first.. no choice muz listen to her.. den we continue to make our almond jelly.. dunno why tis time the almond jelly so weirdo one.. in the mornin still like so damn soft.. now den okay.. was rushin thru my hw last nite.. den peiqi was already slpin until so shuang le.. win liao lo.. todae still muz wake up at 8 for maths lesson.. tot i'll be late but wasn't.. den went for band at 1.. was supposed to go at 12.. something is still not rite.. jus one cca.. and now wat's happenin? the war detween me and her.... still not ended.. i dunno how to solved it.. i dun wan to avoid the problem.. but it jus seem so hard to be solved.. we used to be good frenz.. but now end up like enemies..

was really feelin very hurt last nite..
things are still the same..
i felt so foolish..
so stupid againz..
was controllin my tears..
you dun noe how i feel..
i'm already tryin to let go of you..
but you are givin me hope againz..
why? aRrGhH~
everytime i tried to tok to you......
but u end up destroyin my day..
jus sittin here..
waitin for you..
thinkin of you everyday..

2004-03-17T05:59:00.000-08:00
heh heh.. jus came back frm plaza sing.. den come and blog liao.. heh heh.. smelly.. nothin much really happened today la.. went to watch movie.. not wid him.. sob.. heh heh.. kiddin.. the movie not very nice la.. like no endin lidat.. not very scary oso leh.. met into lots of peircean jus now..

wanted to bake cookies.. den found out no more ingredients liao.. den wanted to bake cake.. den mama say dun want la.. so i good gal of cuz listen to her lo.. haiz.. so darn bored now.. want to enjoy life oso difficult.. tml still got band leh.. shyt la.. muz wake up so damn early.. fer three daes leh.. arrghh~

hmm.. today feelin very sian.. life without him is jus like havin no life.. everydae seems to be so darn borin to me.. no fun one.. dun feel like bloggin liao.. no mood.. gonna go play piano liao.. makes me feel better.. lurve piano manz.. it rawkz.. gotta get goin.. heh heh.. haven bathe yet.. lazy.. shhhhh... dun tell anyone hor.. heh heh.. -(",)-

2004-03-16T03:07:00.000-08:00
heh heh.. holidae oso sian.. go back to skool oso sian.. haiz.. dunno wat i wan oso la.. actually today was actually goin out wid peiqi.. to play pool wid ren jie and timothy i think.. really enjoy tat game.. since tat time my cousins brought me to play on chinese new year.. was sort of addicted.. but it always reminds me of him.. den remembered tat i'm actually meetin sonia today.. almost fergot sia.. heh heh.. later nv go den she angry ar.. kiddin.. so went out wid sonia today.. she is so damn lame lo.. say wat wan to go zoo.. sobig liao still go zoo.. lolz.. den say wan to go fly kite.. luckily nv go.. was rainin so heavily.. den we ended up at tp.. had our lunch there and did some of our holidae hw.. and tok crap.. later we went to bishan.. shop around but really nothin to see lo.. wanted to go and search for his present de.. but conldn't think of anythin suitable fer him.. very hard to think of wat thing to buy fer a guy leh.. so the whole dae i actually did nothin la.. was jus havin fun wid her ba..

haiz.. feelin very moody now.. all the things dun seem to turn out rite.. upset wid my piano stuff.. cant play well.. takin my exams in a few more mths.. seems long.. but to me it is considered very short.. got so many things to learn before i complete wat is required for the piano exam.. den my sight read really suck lo.. always got so much work to do.. no time for me to practise lo.. arrgh~ i'm afraid tat i'll fal tis exam lo.. i dun have the mood to study leh.. did quite badly for my ca.. sob.. all of dem wasn't up to my expectation.. not tat i'm expectin to high.. but i'm really not doin well.. wanderin how to catch up wid my classmates.. guess i muz really concentrate in class le.. and pay more attention ba.. but i tink i'm already payin attention in class le leh.. feelin so lousy.. dun really noe how to do a lot of the maths qn.. practically every sum.. haiz..

parents say want to brin me go play golf.. but in the end they oso nv brin me go.. they are very busy tis week.. so gotta wait.. lurve to play golf oso.. especially wid my daddy.. mum is improvin le.. woman's power.. heh heh.. she's goin to beat me soon.. gotta train harder liao.. but later got muscles den so u-g-l-y.. kanna like macho woman lidat.. har har.. ai yoyo.. i'm so confused.. dunno wat i really wan..

thinkin of him again..
but really gettin tired of my life le..
life really sux when you are not bein lurve in return..
am i still too young to think abt lurve?
how to shake tat think off my mind?
how to get rid of those feelings?
lurve is jus so confusin....
i jus feel like slpin..
and dun wake up....
cuz i wont be thinkin of you..
all i want..... is to talk to you..

2004-03-15T00:56:00.000-08:00
hmm.. was havin maths and chem lesson today.. wanted to take bus le den realised tat i left my wallet in another bag.. arrghh.. was late le.. but dun really care.. den sonia msg me.. sayin tt aunty wong will be late oso.. so i jus walked slowly.. feeling so sleepy in class.. den the liyang was so lame lo.. msg me and ask me to entertain him.. shld be he entertain me lo.. he so energetic.. me myself already so tired liao lo.. cant concentrate oso.. tried to make myself really focus when she's teachin but somehow i jus couldnt.. jus kept thinkin abt him.. i tried very hard to keep myself busy.. but it dun help at all.. i'm tired of it.. tried so hard to get it back to normal.. but everytime i failed to do so.. i jus couldn't get the damn thing out of my head.. wat can i do? pluck up my courage to msg you but you dun want to reply.. dun wan to tok to me.. haiz.. really got lotsa prob.. why muz they come together at the sometime? still havin sort of ''cold war '' wid priscilyn over sum band stuff.. not tat i dun like band or wat.. its jus tat no matter how much effort we put in, everything jus go down into the drain.. no one appreciate wat we have done oso.. why muz there be diff treatment for diff ppl? doubt she understands how i feel.. but sumhow wished tt tis thing will stop soon.. dun like the way we treat each other.. gotta solve it..

loving is jus simply givin in..
but it offen breaks your heart..
it takes a long time to heal..
no one will ever be able to share the pain wid you..
is it true tat relationship wont last when you are still in secondary?
is it all puppy love?
or am i too foolish to believe everything?
to give in so much?
i hate the feelings..
my frenz ask me to take it easy..
but is it as simple as said?
arrghh~
no matter how i try to let go of you..
my heart still hold on to you..
but tis feelin hurts me more..
wat to do?
how?
everyday seems to be thinkin of you..
jus hope for a delete bottom in me..
for me to delete everything..
but there isn't..
to keep tellin myself,
to forget all those wonderful memorise you have given me..
and dun let them stop wat i'm doin..
to carry on wid life..
sumhow i couldn't control myself..
and have to let it be..

2004-03-14T09:47:00.000-08:00
hmm.. heeloos.. so darn tired today.. jus reached home.. went out wid peiqi frm 1230 lidat.. we're so lame.. dun have money still wanna go shoppin.. heh heh.. but my mama gave me $20 to buy the billabong wallet i want.. went to far east but couldnt find much things.. gettin so sian of tat place already.. den went to meet our frenz at parkway parade.. to play pool wid dem.. both of us were sort of beginner.. but it was rather fun.. but later was quite angry wid one of dem.. kept laughin at me and peiqi.. think he very professional.. but guess wat.. he cant even get any ball into the pocket.. dunno how to play den say la.. can learn one ma.. dun need to act untill like you very pro lidat.. want face only.. haiz.. not for me to say anything oso.. maybe it is jus not his day.. den went to kallang wid peiqi and hon meng.. wanted to go toa payoh to eat ban mian.. but we end up eatin mac at kallang.. cuz i got coupon.. typical singaporean.. haha.. really very stupid at the mac.. we crack loads of lame jokes.. was havin lots of fun.. went home wid peiqi in a bus full of indians.. ha.. elizabeth lurves indians.. tml still got maths and chem lesson.. until 2.30.. arrghh.. jus like normal skool dae lo..

i really do not noe wat to do now.. feelin so bored.. so tired of everything.. receive msg abt the holidae band pract.. sian sia.. his birthdae is comin.. i still dunno whether i shld buy fer him.. dun even think tat he will meet me.. really confused.. dunno wat to buy oso.. dun tink he will appreciate..

everything seems to remind me of you..
you again..
again and again i jus cant ferget you..
why?
was playin pool..
but how i wished you were there teachin me..
cant seem to stop thinkin of you every single day..
i'm goin thru all those sufferings..
but wat abt you?
you are jus down there enjoyin life..
my heart is jus like the imcomplete set of jig-saw puzzle..
all over the place..
no matter how hard i try to fix it back..
it still cant be glued into one whole piece....
jus feel like cryin my hearts out..
but...... things will still be the same after tat..
i really feel like tokin to you..
but noe tat you wont want to hear my voice..
or maybe you are hopin for the day..
the day tat i stop disturbin you..
but i jus cant control myself to stop everything..
to stop thinkin of you..
i really miss you lots....

2004-03-13T00:06:00.000-08:00
hmm.. jus came back frm my theory exam.. and feel like bloggin.. so poor thing rite.. holiday le still need to take exam.. heh heh.. so xing ku.. slept at 1 plus and woke up at five.. couldnt sleep.. was feelin so awake when i woke up tis mornin.. but when the exam was startin, i was feelin darn tired.. find myself so lame.. went to my mum's workplace to accompany her.. but actually the real reason is tat i'm afraid tat i cant wake up on time.. heh heh.. so bored.. parents not at home and wont be comin home so soon.. bra went fer camp le.. poor gal so guai stay at home.. haiz.. thinkin of him again.. today actually need to go fer cg de.. but not in the mood to go.. i tink i'm evil.. but wat to do? heard tat yesterdae only four ppl turn up for band.. ha.. wanderin how was it.. but who cares abt tat yap soon soon..

i jus hate everything..
everything tat comes into my life now..
why is life so sucky..
so miserable..
why do you have to leave me alone..
jus like being left alone in nowhere..
i feel so lost..
so hurt..
so depressed..
why cant we be like how we used to be..
each and everydae thinkin of you..
to control myself..
why muz you be so selfish?
when can you spare a tot fer me?
when did you ever care abt my feelings?
when?
never..
every msg u sent to me these few daes jus hurts my heart..
deeply..
lyk a knife piercin thru my heart..
when can this thing stop?
why am i sufferin so much..
so much tat you will never realise..

2004-03-12T08:36:00.000-08:00
heeyloos.. finally got my blog done.. hmm.. tml is my piano exam le.. actually is today le la.. but you noe wat's the worst thing?? i haven study my italian terms for tat exam.. but jus not in the mood to go and memorise.. now already 12 something le.. still cant sleep.. was tokin to peiqi jus now.. so late le she still haven bathe.. stinko man.. dun get to close to her wor.. heh heh.. jus kiddin.. toking bout her, gonna miss her and suxian after tis yr.. goin our separate ways le.. so sad manz..

today nothin much happened la..jus as usual, went to skool.. got back my result slip.. wasn't quite satisfied wid my results.. wasn't in the mood to study last few days.. soo many tests in one wk.. and was expected to get tat kinda lousy result.. hai.. ferget it.. dun wanna tok abt skool work le.. now holiday le.. so happie.. but holiday oso so sian.. jus wish i can go out wid him one of these days.. but sort of impossible.. wat can i do.. is sec 4 life always lidat fer everyone? most of my frenz seemed so troubled.. wat kinda life do i have? these few days was oso quite frastruted wid some band stuff.. hai.. really dunno wat to do abt it.. havin some cold war wid some of them.. but sometimes they jus dun understand how i feel.. jus wish tat they can at least spare a tot fer me.. now come the yap soon soon as our band conductor.. dunno how to describe it.. some may not agree to wat i've said oso.. so ferget it..

hmm.. hope you peeps will tag my tagboard.. ya.. kae la.. very late liao.. gonna study le.. gtg.. tata..(^_^)/

2004-03-11T02:57:00.000-08:00
hmm.. found the blogskin i want.. but cant seem to download it.. life seem so sucky everyday.. sux man.. arrghh.. startin chatin wid my sum1 yesterday.. sort of still havin feelings for him.. but jus too hard to tell.. everytime havin soo much fun wid my dem.. heh heh.. he is one of them.. feeling rather sad or shld i say i have mixed feelings.. i'm very confused.. startin to think abt the times wid him again.. haizz.. sad sia.. why am i always the one sufferin?? tryin to bluff myself tat i dun like him anymore.. but it'll never work.. time heals everything.. but after so long, i still cant seem to ferget him.. i put a sunshine in me and let it brighten my life each day.. sometimes controllin myself not to be involved in this kinda BGR thingy but it is jus too hard to be done.. easier said than done.. feelin irritatin by some ppl oso.. why muz they keep disturbin me when i'm already feelin so down?? maybe i'm in the wrong to treat dem tis way.. but i jus have too much problem.. sometimes jus cant take it anymore.. but they jus simply dun understand how i feel.. they dun understand my situation.. i really do not know wat to do... so sick and tired of everything in my life.. wat kinda life do i have? arrgh.. havin encounted all those things tt had troubled me so much.. i jus think tt lurve simly sux.. thinkin tat gettin in and out of this relationship thingy is easy but think of those ppl you have hurt~ arrghh.. jus dun have any fun thinkin in my life now.. hai.. every wk i have so many things on.. jus dun feel lyk doing anything else..monday got cca until 6.. tue house practise until 6.. wed and thurs free.. fri got lots of things until 9.. sat go for cg and always reach home arnd 7.30.. and i always have to rush home.. always afraid tat my mum will scold.. and sun got to get out of the house when no1 notice me and to rush back home.. but always reach home at 6.. always gettin scolded.. i'm still a human.. i need to relax.. i'm not those type tat study everyday.. i dun even have time for myself.. how to have time for other things?

jus need him to talk to me.. but it is like impossible le.. when den will he give a damn abt me?? when den will he care abt my feelings?? haizz.. wat can i do?? k la.. gonna change the blogskin soon.. gonna get going le.. still gat so many things to do.. sian larx.. tata.. (^_^)/

2004-03-06T01:36:00.006-08:00
my life suxxxxxxxx... why muz all those things come and hurt me..... i'm jus a normal gal like anyone else.. why cant he jus understand how i feel????? my life is so miserible and borin without him.. why muz he come into my life and touch me but in the end left me alone.. kept tellin myself it's impossible le.. tryin to forget the wonderful times i've spent wid him.. but i cant... really cant.. wat can i do??? i really lurve him.. a lot.. my feelings grew so much for him and had never change.. why.. why is he so heartless.. each time i failed to have him, my life was so low.. he wont understand.. why muz he enter my life at first.. why is it everytime when i'm able to forget you, you came back to me again.. i hate you.. i really hate you.. you really dun know how much i lurve you.. you and only you.. and yet you always hurt me.. what have i done wrong?? everytime you left me alone, i felt tat life was meaningless... meaningless to me.. but so many times, you've gave me hope.. why muz you do tat to me.. you really mean something to me.. the good memories you have place in my heart.. i've fallen so deeply in love wid you.. in my heart you are always the best to me.. no one can ever replace you.. i've never regret anything.. you gave me so much lurve.. but yet you have hurt me so many times.. until i dun even noe if you really lurve me.. and are those things you said to me true.. but i seriously lurve you.. my heart still stays wid you although you always enter my life to destroy it.. i couldnt forget you.. but to secretly wait for you.. knowin tat i cant get you back but i dun want to give up.. to tell you how i feel is useless.. you dun even care abt me.. lurve sux.. you made me realised tat i muz treasure everyone.. before it is too late for regrets... i really envy your frenz who are so close to you.. i really wished i was one of them.. sometime i pluck up my courage to msg you, to over come my fear to talk to you.. but you end up ignorin everything.. and didn't reply any of my msg.. do you noe how hurt i'm? no.. definitely not.. but i cant do anything.. i really cant. wat can i do?? i felt so foolish.. so stupid.. but it is jus simply how much i lurve you.. in my life, i have never tot tat i'll ever lurve a person so much.. today i felt more hurt.. you've hurt me so much again.. i want to hate you but i cant.. yeaterday i should be very happy..cuz i've git 1st for my high jump.. but you've destroyed my day again.. not once not twice.. but so many times.. again and again..why must all the memories always come into my life and haunt me...... when your finally replied today after several msgs, my heart felt so crushed.. didnt expect all those msgs frm you.. like my heart has sank to the bottom of my of my feet.. i jus felt like throwin my handphone on the floor.. everytime there is sure to be one thing tat will reminds me of you..arrrrggghhhhh.........you will never understand how i feelll!!! i hate you..

2004-02-22T03:16:00.000-08:00
hmm.. hellox.. tis is my new blog.. feel free to came and read wor.. feeling rather moody tis few days la.. maybe b'cuz of the o lvl tis yr ba.. feelin quite stressed.. jus dun feel like doin anythin tis feel daes.. haiz.. sian.. focusin myself to study.. but jus seem to forget everythin the next moment.. quite frustrated.. wonderin how to catch up wid my class.. dun understand A-maths.. like so freakin difficult to me sia.. all my grades seems to have deproved.. gotta do somethin to it.. and stop daydreamin in class.. feelin so lame.. always so lame.. jus thinkin tat lurve simply sux.. feel tat tis yr muz really concetrate on my studies.. and really wake up frm my dreamland.. cant seem to forget someone.. i'm feelin so stupid.. jus hopin tat someone can jus enter my life againz.. my it looks like it's impossible to have him back.. so no choice but to forget him.. always make myself think tat he's very bad so tat i can forget him easier.. but no matter wat, all his bad pts jus turn out to be good pts.. ya noe.. but he will never understand how i feel..

kaezz.. gotta stop bloggin here.. gotta study for next wk's tests le.. it's like so many lo.. gtg.. dun miss me horz.. -(",)-